devil in the red dress

Ryan Gallagher spotted Sadie as soon as he stepped off the elevator into the hotel lobby. She had her back to him, her face upturned towards Trevor’s. Her blonde hair hung down her back in a French braid, and Ryan wondered who braided it. Sadie didn’t know how to French braid; he’d always done it for her.

It had been almost four months since he’d last seen her, after having left her a note in the bathroom to end their relationship of over five years.

Trevor watched Ryan approach, his weight shifting on the plush red carpeting below his feet. Sadie slowly turned to face Ryan. Worry consumed her blue eyes. She’d put on some weight, no longer appearing anorexic. She looked healthy. He gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her his intentions were good, even though he wasn’t quite sure what his intentions were. The sounds and images of the people passing through the hotel lobby faded away when he saw her face.

“Hey,” he said to Trevor as he approached, trying to sound casual. Sadie looked to Trevor, and he placed his hand on the small of her back. Ryan pushed his thumbnail into his forefinger to keep from allowing annoyance to show on his face.

“Hey,” Trevor said flatly.

Besides working through things with Sadie, he and Trevor needed to talk too. But not right now. First, he had to make things right with Sadie.

She faced him, her body turning in his direction. He pretended it didn’t bother him that Trevor’s hand was on her. He pretended he never trusted Trevor.

He pretended he never hurt Sadie even once.

Everything Ryan did was a part of a big act now, including the grin he flashed as he asked, “Who braided your hair?”

She reached for the tail of her braid and pulled it over her shoulder. “Trevor,” she mumbled, her eyes falling to the floor.

Her brokenness, her fear. He did that to her. Would she ever be able to look at him again the way she had in the beginning? “It looks nice.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide with wonder. He’d always told her to wear her hair down, flowing like a golden cloak around her shoulders. Her eyes found Trevor’s, making him feel an ache in his gut.

Ryan gestured toward a sitting area in the lobby of the hotel, two chairs and an overstuffed couch. “Wanna sit down and talk?”

She kept her eyes on Trevor’s face and shrugged. He smiled at her before kissing the top of her head, making Ryan’s stomach tighten. He didn’t know how much of this he could handle.

“I’ll be right here,” Trevor said softly. His hand fell from her back as she stepped away from him.

Sadie sat in a dark blue overstuffed chair, pulling her legs to her chest, closing herself off from him. He pretended this didn’t bother him, that none of it bothered him. He knew more about her than Trevor ever would. In fact, her closing herself off was probably an attempt to keep herself from allowing Ryan to be too close to her heart, where he belonged.

“How’ve you been?” he asked, sitting on the sofa across from her.

“Fine,” she answered, staring past him.

He needed more than this. He wanted more. Hopes for an actual conversation were fading fast. She wasn’t herself. Something was off. “I hear you’re sober.”

She nodded.

“Good for you.”

Her eyes found his. “When you’re not constantly walking on eggshells, it’s a lot easier to make decisions for yourself.”

On instinct, he narrowed his eyes. It was a reflex, really. Whenever Sadie said something like that, something snide or confrontational, he automatically became defensive. He’d have to work to fix that. Taking a deep breath, he looked away from her, his eyes settling on a family coming into the lobby, suitcases in tow. The two children, both boys, gazed in awe around the hotel lobby. “I don’t want to fight, Sadie.”

“We’re not,” she said confidently. “I’m just telling you the truth.”

“Trevor treats you well?”

“You don’t care about that.” She sat up, pulling her legs underneath her.

Ryan looked at her. She looked past him to where Trevor stood in wait. “I do care, despite what you think.”

“Oh, so now you care what I think too?”

Drawing in a deep breath, he shook his head. “Please stop being so defensive. I just want to talk.”

“About what?”

“How we can move on from everything that happened and maybe be friends.”

She scoffed, bringing her brows together. “Seriously, Ryan? In case you haven’t noticed, I have moved on. And friends?” She shook her head. “I don’t think so.” Leaning forward, she continued. “And I don’t think I will ever get over the things you did to me. You need to realize that. You are evil and I hate you so much it hurts. But you know what feels so good? Being able to look you in the face and tell you that. It’s the best feeling in the world to watch your face as you realize that I would be fine with never seeing you again. And hopefully after this, I won’t have to.”

He sat back on the sofa, his eyes locked on her. It burned him not to be able to react the way he wanted, the way he always had. His jaw clenched tight as he closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. When he opened his eyes, the smug look on her face made his blood boil. “Too bad you won’t get that lucky.”

She rolled her eyes. “That sounds like a threat.”

He focused on his breathing. Getting angry wasn’t going to help anything. It wasn’t even an option anymore. “This is not how I wanted this conversation to go, Sadie. I wanted to hear about how you’re happy. About what you’ve been up to. I wanted to try to be friends.”

Softness flashed in her blue eyes, but it was gone before he could confirm it. “Too bad you don’t control me anymore.”

“I never wanted to hurt you.” The words slipped out before he could stop them, and he knew she would throw them back at him, but they were true. He had never intended to hurt her; it wasn’t what he wanted. But once he started, he didn’t know how else to handle his anger.

And she’d accepted it. She’d allowed it.

Her laugh was cynical. “Really? Is that why you kept doing it over and over and over again? Is that why you left me a note when you decided I was just getting in the way?” She shook her head. “Sounds to me like you need to work on figuring out how not to hurt people.”

“I guess I do.” The words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he meant them to, but they were honest. “I guess if you can get sober, anything is possible.” He grinned. “I just can’t help but wonder how long that will last.”

She smiled, but it was insincere. “If I have to keep seeing you, I don’t imagine much longer.”

He chuckled. “How do you think Trevor will handle that?”

“Handle what?”

“The real Sadie. Because we both know this sober imposter isn’t the real you.”

She laughed again, a real laugh, and it made his heart swell with yearning. “You mean the old Sadie, don’t you?”

He cocked his head, loving every breath of how the conversation had turned. The banter, the angry undertones of their statements, it’s what Ryan lived for. He felt alive for the first time in months. “I mean the real Sadie, not this girl sitting across from me pretending to be happy.”

Now she narrowed her eyes, a playful smile on her pink lips. “Who says I’m pretending?”

“Me. I can read you like a newspaper. You know that.”

Leaning forward, she arched her eyebrows. “I anticipate my half-assed attempt at sobriety will end sometime today.” She leaned back in the chair. “Just being around your ignorant ass makes me want to drink.”

He laughed. “Half-assed?” She shrugged. “Well, it’s good to know I still have some effect on you.”

“Yeah, the sight of you actually makes me a little nauseous too.”

His smile faded. “I don’t want to have that effect.”

Shrugging, she started to get up. He didn’t want their conversation to end. “Can you do me a favor?” she asked. He looked up at her. “Don’t talk to me unless I talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to be in control for a while. If I decide I need to hear your voice, I will. If I decide I want a conversation, I want it on my terms. I want to decide what happens. I want to watch you walk on eggshells for a while.”

He only heard three words. “For a while?” She nodded. “And then what?”

“And then I might remember there was once a Ryan who didn’t break my heart and ruin my soul. That there was a Ryan who had a heart and soul of his own.” The edges of her lips turned up slightly as she stepped away. “Maybe you’ll remember me too.”

He watched her drift across the lobby, back to Trevor, her hand taking his as she reached him. Seeing her touch him that way made him hurt, made him angry, but he clung to her words and the double meaning he read in them.

Sadie led Trevor to the elevator, and as they waited, she looked back at him, holding his stare. It felt like she was telling him something, imploring that double meaning he planned to hold onto.

And then she flipped him off as she got onto the elevator.

Ryan didn’t move from the sofa in the hotel lobby for several minutes, oblivious to the people milling around. He’d see her again that evening at the party they were attending. They’d ride in the same limo, sit at the same table. Feelings and words burned his brain, so he returned to his room where he pulled out one of his many spiral notebooks and his guitar. He translated his feelings into lyrics and chords.

His eyes red and swollen from tears he hadn’t meant to shed, he realized he had lost complete track of time and would be late getting over to Eric’s house.

***

Trevor Dixon watched as Eric and Rainie came out of the high-rise condo building first, followed by Ryan’s date, London. He recognized her as one of Rainie’s stripper friends from the club Eric had met her in. She looked young and unsure of herself as she trailed behind the others. Ryan followed about twenty feet behind.

He turned to Sadie; her eyes followed Ryan as he made his way to the limo. There was nothing he could read in her blank expression.

Sadie had been distant since arriving in Los Angeles the day before. Trevor knew it was this impending event that had closed her off. When she got off the plane, he’d expected a grand reunion, but all he’d gotten was a simple, “Hey.”

Eric made introductions, but Sadie’s eyes were settled on Ryan. The tension inside the limo was heavy. Trevor let out a puff of air and her eyes fell to her hands.

“What’s with the sunglasses?” Jenny asked Ryan.

“I wanted to stand out.” His throat sounded scratchy, and he cleared it.

Corey scoffed. “He doesn’t want it to be obvious he’s staring.”

Ryan grimaced. “Staring at what? The devil in the red dress?”

The only one wearing red was Sadie. Her mouth opened, but she didn’t say anything.

Jenny chuckled. “We all know who the devil is. And he’s wearing sunglasses, not a red dress.”

Trevor smiled. He loved Jenny’s quick wit.

Ryan lowered his sunglasses, revealing swollen, bloodshot eyes. “Here you go, Jennifer. Are you happy?”

Her smirk didn’t fade. “I am. I’ve been waiting years to find out if the devil had a heart.”

Ryan looked toward Sadie and Trevor, and Trevor saw something he’d never seen from Ryan before. Uncertainty. His eyes radiated the years of regret he must be feeling. Trevor leaned close to Sadie, whispered in her ear, his eyes never leaving Ryan’s face. “You ok?”

She nodded as Ryan raised his sunglasses but didn’t look away from him. Trevor would give anything to get inside her head and make her realize she was his whole world, and that Ryan was nothing but a piece of shit.

“I really like your dress,” London said.

Sadie smiled at her, finally peeling her eyes away from Ryan. “Thank you.”

“Jenny,” Rainie started, “I hear you’re due about the same time as me. In September?”

Jenny nodded. “Yeah, what’s your due date? Mine is the seventh.”

“The ninth.” Rainie giggled. “Wouldn’t that be crazy if we both had them on the same day.”

“I’ll tell you what’s crazy.” Ryan said. “Is the fact that you married Eric after, like, two damn months. And the fact that you, Jenny, think you know Corey well enough to marry him.”

Jenny wasn’t deterred. “No, what’s really crazy is that you haven’t realized what a pathetic waste of life you are and killed yourself yet.”

“Whoa, Jen,” Corey said. “Chill.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Fuck that. I don’t have to listen to his bullshit any more than Sadie does.”

Ryan chuckled. “Why’d you get so defensive, Jen? Afraid I’m right?”

“Ryan, that’s enough,” Trevor said. “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you have to make everyone else miserable too.”

Ryan lowered his sunglasses and leveled his gaze on Trevor. “And why, exactly, Trevor, am I so miserable?”

“I already told you,” Jenny said. “It’s because you’re a pathetic waste of life.”

“You were miserable long before now, Ryan.” Sadie spoke the words softly. “It has nothing to do with us breaking up or me being with Trevor. You’ve been like this for years.”

Trevor squeezed Sadie’s hand as Ryan slid the sunglasses back over his eyes. No one spoke again, but Sadie’s eyes spoke volumes in how she never looked away from Ryan. It wasn’t going to be easy or happen quickly, but she would heal from what he did to her, and Trevor vowed to stand beside her for as long as it took.

When they arrived at the party, Trevor was surprised to see the commotion outside. People were everywhere with cameras. Eric must’ve seen the stricken looks on the faces around him. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Follow my lead and get inside. When we get inside, smile. Smile a lot.”

“I didn’t know it was gonna be like this.” Sadie’s eyes were wide.

Eric led the way when they exited the limo. It was the first time Trevor had been recognized as being a part of Mile 258. He smiled, and Sadie smiled beside him. When someone asked her what she was wearing, she giggled and said, “A red dress.” Even Trevor knew they wanted to know who the dress designer was.

Sadie glowed on the red carpet. Her dress was strapless and fitted on her upper body and around her beautiful rear end, then flared out in ruffles of red, reaching to the ground, following behind her just a bit. Her golden curls shone around her shoulders, framing her radiant face with lips the same shade of red as her dress. Her smile hid so much in those moments the cameras flashed in her direction. It all seemed so natural for her. Like this was where she belonged, here on the red carpet in Los Angeles with Trevor.

When they were past the reporters, she leaned into him. “So much for staying sober.” Their eyes met. “I need a drink.”

on a sunday

“You’ve had enough, Sadie,” Jenny said in her ear. “I know you don’t want to throw it all away over one rough day.”

Sadie Montgomery pulled away from her friend. “I’m not throwing anything away. I’m enjoying myself.”

Jenny sighed. “Whatever.”

Sadie sipped on the glass of wine in her hand, Jenny’s hot breath still in her ear. Honestly, she’d lost count of how many glasses she’d had. Why did they only fill the glasses halfway? What she honestly needed was something harder than wine, but the buzz she had made everything easier. Easier to deal with Ryan’s red, puffy eyes watching her. Easier to smile at Trevor in front of Ryan. Easier to breathe.

Easier to live.

Fuck being sober. This was so much better.

She excused herself to the bathroom, giving Trevor a little kiss on the cheek before she left, watching Ryan watch her. When she came out of the bathroom, Ryan leaned against the wall across from the bathroom with his hands in his pockets. She froze; her heart leapt into her throat as her high heels sunk into the carpet. The long hall suddenly seemed confining. She was trapped.

“Hey,” he said.

She didn’t like his casual tone, like they were friends who’d run into each other at the supermarket. “I asked you to leave me alone.” Her voice was small; she hoped he wouldn’t pick up on her trepidation, but that was inevitable.

The haughty look on his face told her he wasn’t going to just walk away. “Looks like you’re having fun.”

“I am.” She willed her feet to move, but instead her lips did. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Who’s crying?”

She shrugged. “Told you my sobriety wouldn’t last.”

“Who cares?”

“I thought you did.” They stood silently staring at each other for a long moment, the clamor of the party in the distance. Something about him would always stop her in her tracks. “That tux looks good on you,” she said to break the painful silence.

He straightened his posture as he chuckled, running a finger along the chair rail on the champaign colored walls. “Funny you should say that.”

She cocked her head. “Why?”

“Because I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful than you do right now. Red is definitely your color.”

She looked down at her dress, appreciating the compliment, glad he thought she looked good, but hating it at the same time. “Jenny picked it.”

“Jenny has good taste.” Their eyes met. “In dresses. Definitely not in men.” He cleared his throat. “I assume she doesn’t know about you and Corey last fall.”

Her feet found what they needed to move forward as she squinted her eyes in faked confusion, uneasiness inching into the edges of her brain. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He gripped her left wrist, the one with the nerve damage. The wrist he used to twist and bend, making her unable to use her hand for days. “I don’t care about that, Sadie. It’s just something I’ll keep in the back of my mind.”

“Let go.” She heard the panic in her voice; surely, he heard it too.

“I’m trying.” He dropped her wrist, his eyes locked with hers. “But it’s hard to move on so easily. Not that you would know, because here comes Mr. Chivalrous now.”

“Sadie,” Trevor called from down the hall.

She turned from Ryan and walked toward Trevor, putting a smile on her face. “Apparently, I’m ruining his night.” She laced her fingers with Trevor’s when she reached him.

Trevor chuckled, throwing a glance over his shoulder at Ryan. “How about a dance?”

“After another drink.”

“How many have you had?”

She shot him a look he didn’t see. Don’t start, she thought. Don’t be like him. “Does it matter?”

He didn’t answer, but she knew he was disappointed. Seemed she was good at disappointing people. When they were back in the ballroom, surrounded by so many gorgeous and perfect people she would never compare to, Sadie grabbed another glass of wine and led Trevor back to the table.

Instead of sitting down, she leaned in next to Corey, on the side away from Jenny, who was engrossed in conversation with Rainie and London anyway. “Ryan’s threatening to tell Jenny.”

Sadie knew well every emotion Corey’s eyes could show. When he looked at her, she saw anger with a mix of trepidation. “Yeah, I caught that earlier.”

“No, just now in the hallway.”

“And you getting drunk helps that how?”

She shrugged. Corey was the last person she owed an explanation to. “Not sure. But at least when the ashes fall, I’ll look good!” She spun in a circle and flashed a smile. Trevor’s hand slipped around her waist.

Corey stood. “I think we need to speak with Ryan.”

Trevor looked across the room to Ryan standing beside Eric talking to another guy, frowning. “About what?”

“Chilling the fuck out.”

Sadie giggled.

“How is this funny?” Trevor asked.

“How is it not? You guys’ dreams are coming true, and you can’t stop fighting long enough to embrace it. Go ahead, blame it all on the devil in the red dress. I know it’s my fault, but I never asked for any of this.”

“I can’t talk to him,” Trevor said.

“You’re right, Sadie,” Corey said, ignoring Trevor. “The devil in the red dress.” He looked at Trevor. “You sure that’s what you want?”

“What?”

“The devil in the red dress?”

“Sadie?”

Corey shook his head. “You may be all on board for letting her ruin your life, but I’m not.” He walked off in the direction of Ryan and Eric.

Trevor faced Sadie. She slid both arms around his waist. “You don’t think I’m the devil, do you?”

He smiled, planted a kiss on her lips. “Not at all. You’re my angel.”

She wanted to laugh, but he seemed to honestly believe the words he said. Trevor could be so good for her if she let him. But right now, in this Los Angeles ballroom, surrounded by celebrities, feeling buzzed for the first time in months, she was fine with being the devil in the red dress. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to love Trevor, and on some level, she supposed she did love him. He was too good for her. And she’d never been good enough for him and never would be.

He followed her to the dance floor, where they slow-danced to an 80’s love ballad. She pressed her face against his chest, absorbing his warmth and his fresh, clean scent, searching for contentment; the entire time feeling eyes on her, watching her. Looking up at Trevor, she asked, “He’s watching us, isn’t he?” His green eyes were soft when he nodded. “What if I decide to drink again tomorrow?”

He searched her eyes. The slightest bit of stubble showing on his usually clean-shaven face. “You can decide that tomorrow.”

“What would you do?”

“What could I do?”

“What if I go back to how I was before?”

He pulled her close. She feared his answer, or lack of an answer. It wasn’t that she wanted to hurt him, but it was inevitable. He loved her so much, and had for so long, yet she didn’t think she had any love to give in return.

“I don’t suppose it would change anything,” he whispered. “I loved you then, I love you now, and I’m certain I will love you always.”

Pulling away, she found his damp eyes and uncertain. “That sounds like a song.”

He smiled. “Maybe it is.”

***

John Muszynski hadn’t expected the phone call, but when it came, he wasn’t surprised at all. He didn’t usually get work related phone calls on Sunday. It was the one thing his wife had asked of him when they were together. He’d tried his hardest to respect that, but sometimes things happened. Now that he was single, it really didn’t matter.

“John, my man,” Steve Scott greeted him over the phone just after nine in the morning. Steve was a top executive at Vine Records, the label that signed Mile 258. “How’s your morning?”

“Pretty peaceful,” John replied. He’d been sitting on his back deck with a cup of coffee until the phone rang. His two-bedroom townhouse was in a quiet residential Los Angeles neighborhood. The sun was warm on his face, the air still cool. “To what do I owe this Sunday morning call?”

Steve chuckled. “Mile 258 made an appearance last night.”

John cringed. The guys hadn’t been getting along too well lately. Ryan was dead set against his ex-girlfriend attending the Valentine’s Day event with Trevor but swore he wouldn’t make a scene. “Yeah, they did.”

“They did, they did.” Steve cleared his throat and John drew in his breath. “Who was the girl with Trevor Dixon?”

John drew his brows together. Had Sadie made a scene? “Um, his girlfriend. Sadie Montgomery.”

“I thought so. She’s the one who sang on their debut, right?”

“Yeah, that’s her.”

“We’ll sign her.”

“What?”

“Put her in the band and we’ll extend their contract.”

“Put Sadie in the band?” His tone was flat.

“Yes. The girl has the looks, and she can obviously sing. I can’t believe you haven’t thought of this yourself.”

Now John chuckled. “I’ve thought about it, just not putting her in Mile 258.”

“Well, why not? You got a better idea?”

He’d thought Sadie would make a great model. Maybe some music videos. He wasn’t sure adding Sadie to Mile 258 was the best idea, especially since all the band’s turmoil seemed to revolve around her. “Well, I should probably tell you what I know about her, Steve.”

“What’s that?”

“She was with Ryan Gallagher until a few months ago. They’d been together for years, engaged and all that. Now she’s with Trevor. And it seems her and Corey Renier have some history too, but I’m not sure what that entails. About a month ago, Trevor and Ryan got in a fist fight in the studio over her. I’d be a little nervous about throwing her into that.” He paused, knowing he needed to add a vital piece of information. “Plus, from what I understand, she’s an alcoholic.”

Steve sighed on the other end of the phone. “Does she have kids?”

“No.”

“Then I see no problem.”

John shook his head.

“That girl is going to take that band further than they’d ever go on their own. She will generate publicity. Without her they’re just another post-grunge era band trying to get out there. Add this Sadie chick in and we are playing a whole different game. A rock band with a female lead singer? With that face and body? People will want to see her. Sometimes you gotta take the good with the bad. You know that, John.”

Did he ever. Whitney Rhett, the lead singer of the group he used to manage, The Dreamers, brought herself a lot of publicity. The good had been the great sales. The bad was his ruined marriage and the shattered lives of the other three girls in the group. Now Whitney had a solo contract and a new manager, while John was a bachelor trying to stay out of the limelight.

Who was he to tell Steve Scott no, anyway?

“What if she doesn’t want to?” John asked.

“Tell her to name her price.”

He sighed. “I’ll run it past the guys.”

“You don’t need to run it past anyone, John. If they want an extended contract, they won’t object.”

“So, are you saying they won’t get one without Sadie?”

“Not necessarily, but this will guarantee it. The extension will be in effect immediately. Otherwise we’ll just have to wait and see how sales go.”

John clenched his jaw. Steve was likely bluffing, but there was no way to be sure. “Ok.”

“Good, good. Let me know what she wants. I’ll make it happen.” Steve laughed loudly. “You know that girl is where the money is, right?”

“Sure, but I also think she will bring chaos. I think it would be better to sign her solo.”

“Chaos brings publicity. Publicity brings increased sales. Increased sales brings money. Signing her solo won’t make her stand out against every other pop princess. She needs to be with Mile 258.”

John hung up feeling conflicted. Steve was right. The first time John had heard Mile 258 play, it was Sadie that led him to talk to the band, not their music. Their music was fine, but it was her involvement with them that intrigued him. The more he learned, though, the more he understood that he was better off not involving Sadie in anything.

The guys were not going to take this well. He wasn’t even sure Sadie would go for it. What if the guys decided to quit because of this?

How could one phone call, on a Sunday no less, make him feel everything he had worked for was about to unravel?

hair & fake boobs

Corey Renier was the last to arrive at the practice space on Monday. John had called last night and said he needed all of them there around ten the next morning. Jenny had already left, so he didn’t mind having to come in earlier than normal.

It had been a great weekend. He and Jenny had chosen a cute three-bedroom townhouse in a gated neighborhood, perfect for their little family. They’d made an offer on it and should know sometime today if it was accepted. He absolutely couldn’t wait for the semester to be over so she would move out to LA. Life was finally going in the right direction, and he planned to keep it that way. There was nothing he wanted more than Jenny and the baby.

Corey was surprised to see Sadie at the studio. She hadn’t been there since the day she sang for one of the songs on their first album. Yesterday, she called Jenny to tell her she was staying in LA a little longer, but he never expected Trevor would bring her to the studio. She probably conned him into bringing her just so she could get more of a rise out of Ryan. The Valentine party hadn’t been a complete disaster, but it hadn’t been great either. Yet there she was, her hair twisted up in a messy pile on top of her head, a smug look on her face.

Trevor sat on the couch beside her, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Corey could see the uncertainty in his friend’s eyes. “What’s up?” Corey asked.

Trevor shook his head and looked away. Corey got a hollow feeling in his stomach. Something wasn’t right, but it wasn’t Trevor and Sadie’s relationship. They were sitting so close their legs were touching.

Corey glanced around the room. Ryan sat at the table, scribbling furiously in a spiral notebook. Eric sat beside him, leaned back in his chair, his eyes unfocused.

“Why’d we have to come up here early?” Corey asked no one in particular.

“Not sure,” Eric said. He jutted his thumb toward the door. “John’s in there on the phone. Has been since we got here.”

Corey exhaled and sat on the arm of the couch. “Why’d you bring Sadie?”

Trevor looked up at him. He didn’t say anything, but Corey could tell by his friend’s eyes something bothered him. Corey couldn’t tell if Sadie was drunk yet, but that was probably it. Maybe he could talk to her, help her to see how this was hurting Trevor.

The door opened with a bang, and John appeared, his jaw tight and cheeks red. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” he grumbled. He glanced in Sadie’s direction, then to Ryan. Corey watched Ryan’s eyes dart from John to Sadie. “Let’s go in the conference room.”

Sadie was the first one to stand.

Ryan narrowed his eyes. “She doesn’t need to come.”

John cleared his throat. “Um, actually, she does.”

Corey looked at Trevor as Sadie reached her hand out to him. He took it as he stood. “Why?” Corey asked. “Why does Sadie need to come?”

John didn’t answer. He led the group down the hall to the room where they’d signed their contract months ago.

“This is probably some bullshit intervention,” Ryan said to Eric. “To try to make me and Trevor get along better.”

Corey glanced behind him at Ryan. “Then why would he bring her?”

“Who the fuck knows.”

Eric chuckled. “I feel like I’m on my way to the principal’s office.”

Once they were settled around the oversized oak table, in large, black leather chairs, John on one side of the table with Trevor and Sadie; Corey, Eric, and Ryan on the other, John cleared his throat. “You guys were noticed at the Valentine party,” he started. “Expect pictures to be circulating.”

“So, this is good, then?” Eric asked.

John frowned, his eyes not meeting anyone’s stare. “Let me finish.” He opened the file folder in front of him. Corey watched as he pulled out a picture and placed it in the middle of the table. “This will most likely be the picture people see.”

The photo was of Sadie in her red dress. Trevor was next to her, smiling, but facing Corey who was barely in the frame. They looked like they were having a conversation. Sadie beamed in the photo, her chin upturned, a gleam in her eyes. The devil in the red dress. She looked amazing; Corey couldn’t deny that.

“Why?” Ryan asked. “She’s not even part of the band.”

“What difference does it make?” John asked. “The captions will identify her as Trevor’s girlfriend.”

Ryan scoffed and sat back in his chair. “Fucking bullshit.”

“It doesn’t matter how you get noticed,” John said. “All that matters is that you do.”

“Ok, so, what’s the big deal?” Corey couldn’t help but think there was more to this.

John sat back, pushed his hands together in a triangle under his chin. “Steve Scott called me at home yesterday.” He paused. “He’s willing to offer you guys an immediate extension on your contract.”

Corey watched Trevor’s eyes fall to the table. Sadie’s eyes sparkled next to him.

“That’s a good thing,” Eric said, a wide smile on his face.

“There’s a stipulation to that, though,” John continued.

How bad could it be? Corey thought. He glanced at Trevor. Trevor wanted out. He wanted to be as far away from Ryan as he could. It was the only way he and Sadie would have a fair shot at making their relationship work.

John let out a long breath. “Effective immediately, Sadie becomes a member of Mile 258.”

“What?” Corey and Ryan said in unison.

“No fucking way, John,” Ryan said, standing. “I’ll quit.”

Corey stared at Sadie. She was actually smiling. “You think this is a good idea?”

She shrugged. “I do need a job.”

“No one can quit without taking a loss unless you find another label to buy out your contract, and you, Ryan, would probably not be able to do that at this point,” John said.

“This isn’t a job, Sadie,” Corey said. “This would be your whole life. Every day.”

“Why, John? Tell me why.” Ryan’s voice was strained.

“Sadie will get you guys noticed. Being noticed brings publicity. Publicity increases sales. Increased sales equals more money.” John looked around the table. “This takes Mile 258 to another level. You all want more money, don’t you?”

Trevor finally spoke. “No, I just wanted to make some music and have a good time with my friends. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“And Sadie,” Ryan sneered.

“I entirely planned to quit when our contract was up,” Trevor continued, ignoring Ryan.

“Here’s the bottom line, guys,” John said. “If Sadie agrees to this, your contract is automatically extended for two more albums. If she doesn’t, Vine will not guarantee a renewal until they see how sales go.”

“We’ll take our chances,” Ryan said. “You’re not doing this, Sadie.”

Sadie laughed. “Who are you? And why do you think you have a say in anything I decide?”

Ryan glowered. “You know damn well who I am, and you’d think you’d have enough sense to see what a horrible idea this is.”

“He’s right, Sadie,” Corey added. “Trevor. Tell her.”

“I’ve already told her what I think,” he said. “But it’s not up to me.”

“Grow a fucking backbone, man,” Ryan said. “You can’t let her do this. It will destroy us, and you know it.”

Trevor glanced at Sadie, who smirked at Ryan. “It’s not up to me.”

Corey realized then Sadie had already made up her mind. John must’ve talked to her and Trevor last night. Corey had been angry at Sadie a hundred times before, so what he felt now was familiar territory. Not that it mattered; his feelings wouldn’t influence anything. This was a power play between Sadie and Ryan.

Eric spoke up. “John, I don’t think this is a good idea, either. There’s too much turmoil already, and it all has to do with her. Bringing her into this would be a disaster.”

John shrugged. “It’s out of my hands. This is all up to her. There’s nothing I can do.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Ryan said.

“Sadie,” Corey said, “look at me.” Her eyes found his. “Why would you say yes? You didn’t even want to sing in front of us. You will have to sing in front of people. Lots of people. People you don’t even know. Go on tour. Plus, at Christmas, you were sick over the thought of seeing Ryan, and now you’re going to willingly see him every day?”

She shrugged. “I was sober both those times. Everything’s easier with alcohol.”

Corey threw his hands up as Ryan laughed next to him. “And we all know how you are when you’re not sober. You’ve already almost broke Mile 258 up so many times I can’t even count. Is that your goal? To destroy everything we’ve worked for?”

She rolled her eyes. “How have I ever tried to break up your stupid little band?”

“Well, let’s see. There was an incident with a baseball bat,” Corey started.

Ryan nodded. “Yeah.”

Her hand waved in the air, like what he said was insignificant. “That was years ago.”

“Then how about when you claimed I raped you? Did you forget that?”

Her jaw fell slack, her eyes narrowed. “You did!”

Ryan let out a bitter laugh. “He did not, and we all know that. Stop fucking lying.”

Sadie crossed her arms. “How about the reasons you guys are still together? Let’s talk about that. Trevor, Corey, does Ryan know the real reason Mile 258 is still standing?”

Corey looked away from her. His patience was gone. The next words he said weren’t going to be as easy and kind as the ones so far.

“They couldn’t walk away from me, Ryan,” Sadie went on. “They needed to make sure you didn’t kill me.”

Ryan laughed. “I’ll bet now they’re wishing I would’ve.”

Sadie giggled, and Corey turned to see her and Ryan smiling at each other. Trevor’s forehead rested on his fingertips, so he didn’t see the way they looked at each other. It made Corey want to cry.

Corey stood up. “So, this is it? Now we get to be all about Sadie’s hair and fake boobs? We get to be the backup dancers for The Sadie Show?” He shook his head and crossed the room to where Sadie sat. He turned her chair and kneeled in front of her. “Please, please, Sadie. You can’t do this. Say no. Please say no. I am begging you.”

Her hand cupped his cheek, and he ignored the way it made him feel. Would there ever be a day when she wouldn’t make him feel something?

“Please, Sadie,” Trevor pleaded behind her. “Say no.”

Sadie’s eyes didn’t leave Corey’s. He knew her eyes well and had seen so many emotions flow from them. Right now, she was truly happy. There was no way, no matter who pleaded, that she was going to pass up this opportunity.

“You know how long I’ve waited to be in control,” she whispered.

“Be in control of something else,” he whispered back.

“Karma.” She shook her head before looking across the room at Ryan. “The devil in the red dress wins. I’ll do it, John.”

tired of running

Jenny Boston stared at the cover of the magazine in the checkout lane at the grocery store, the scent of freshly fried chicken wafting over from the deli.

It was unbelievable. There was Sadie, in living color, on the front of a magazine. The only other times she’d made the news were when she’d had a DUI and when she sued the county for sexual harassment. But even then, it was only the local newspaper, not the cover of a nationally distributed magazine.

When Sadie had called her two nights ago laughing as she told Jenny she wasn’t coming back to Springfield, Jenny felt like she would cry. For the first time in her life, she had felt equal to Sadie, but once again, Sadie surpassed her. This time without even trying.

Jenny knew by now Sadie had been made a member of Mile 258. Corey was livid when he called her. “It’s over,” he said. “She will ruin this for all of us.”

She picked up the magazine and put it in the cart. Then she thumbed through a few others, spotting Sadie’s picture in two more. She threw them in the cart too. Sadie would want them.

“Is dat Sadie?” Angel peered at the magazine.

Jenny nodded and handed the magazine to her nearly four-year-old daughter. “Yeah. Remember when we went to that big party in Los Angeles?” Angel nodded. “People were taking our pictures.”

“Where’s your picture?”

It was a punch in the gut, but not intentional. “I guess they didn’t put it in the magazine.”

“Sadie looks so bootiful.”

Jenny sighed. “Yeah, she does.”

Though she had Angel, she felt more alone than she had years. There was a part of her that knew what she had to do to keep herself from falling into depression again, but that meant giving up a part of herself. She had decided she would move to LA when the semester was over, giving her a few months to get used to the idea. Now, though, she knew the only way to ease her mind was to go sooner. Like, now. She needed to be closer to Corey. And she felt she needed to keep an eye on Sadie.

On their way home, Jenny decided to stop at her sister Jackie’s house. Angel was always excited to stop by there. They let themselves in, Angel making a beeline for the cartoon playing loudly in the living room. Jenny found her sister in the kitchen loading the dishwasher, the water running in the sink. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jackie said. “What’s up?”

Jenny collapsed at the kitchen table. “Sadie’s staying in LA.”

Jackie shut off the water and looked at Jenny. “Oh.”

“I think I’m just gonna go out there too.”

“Oh?” Jackie sat across from Jenny.

“Corey’s a good guy.”

“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”

“No one.” Jenny sighed. “Change is scary.”

“So is regret.”

Jenny met her sister’s eyes. “So, you think I should go?”

“I see no reason not to.” Jackie shrugged. “You’re pregnant with his kid, you’re engaged. He loves Angel, and you guys love each other. Just seems like the next logical step.”

“I know.”

“Plus, I know the boys would love a California vacation when that baby comes.” Jackie gave her a gentle smile. “Did you think I would try to talk you out of it?”

Jenny shook her head. “Sadie is a part of Mile 258 now.”

Jackie looked confused. “I’m sorry, what?” Jenny didn’t reply. “How did that happen?”

“I don’t understand exactly. Something about their contract wouldn’t renew if she didn’t sign on.”

“Sounds fishy.”

Jenny shrugged. “And she’s drinking again.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sad for her. And I’m worried.”

Jackie looked thoughtful. “Sounds like you have more than one reason to go.”

“How do you think Angel will adjust?”

Jackie crinkled her brow. “To what?”

“The move.”

Now her sister smiled. “She’ll be fine. She’ll be with you.”

“You think I can handle this?”

“I know you can handle this.”

Jenny felt some ease in her heart. Yes, she could handle this. She pulled the magazines she bought from her purse. “She’s in these.”

“Sadie?”

Jenny nodded and held the one with Sadie on the cover out for Jackie to see. “Look at her.”

Jackie took the magazine. “She looks so, I don’t know…natural, I guess. Like she belongs there.”

Jenny opened up one of the others and found the picture of Sadie with Trevor and Corey. “Here’s Corey.” She pushed the magazine across the table for Jackie to see, even though only half of him was in the picture.

Jackie smiled. “They all look great. Like they’ve been doing this their whole lives.” She met Jenny’s eyes. “Call him now.”

“Why?”

“Tell him.”

“I’ll call him later.”

“Why wait?”

Jenny didn’t have an answer for that. She used Jackie’s cordless house phone to call Corey. He answered on the third ring.

“Hey, babe, how are you?”

“Fine,” she said with a sigh. “I think I’m ready to come out there.”

“Like, now?”

“Yeah.”

“Seriously? What about school?”

Jenny shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” She walked down the steps to the finished basement with its wood paneled walls and worn tweed furniture. “I miss you too much.”

“I miss you, too.”

“And I’m tired of running. If we’re gonna do this, then let’s just do it already.”

He chuckled. “Running. Never thought of it like that.”

“It’s all I’ve ever done.”

“Not anymore.” He let out a short chuckle. “When do you want to come?”

She smiled. “I’ll need a few days to get things together.”

“So, like, this weekend?”

“We’re gonna have a lot of bags to check.”

“And I’ll have to get us a bigger suite until we close on the townhouse.”

Jenny sighed. “I can’t believe I’m moving to Los Angeles.”

“I can’t believe I get to marry you.”

“I love you, Corey.”

“I love you, too. I can’t wait for you to get here.”

Jenny went back to the kitchen after she’d hung up with Corey. Jackie pulled her into a fierce hug. “Stay for dinner?”

She nodded. “Thank you, Jackie.” Pulling away, she met her sister’s moist eyes, her crow’s feet exaggerated when she smiled. “I owe you so much.”

“Just be happy, Jen. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I’m gonna try.”

***

Sadie stared across the small table in their hotel suite into Trevor’s green eyes. Things had been rough since she arrived in Los Angeles five days ago. At first her trepidation over seeing Ryan had made her edgy and withdrawn. Then she started drinking. Then John came by with Steve Scott’s proposal.

Then she accepted it.

Trevor begged her not to accept. He felt it would be a disaster. And maybe he was right, but only time would tell. So far, Sadie hadn’t thought it had been that bad. She spent a lot of time asking questions and following John around trying to learn. More than once she noticed three sets of eyes following her every move. She steered clear of Ryan. They’d exchanged a few words but participated in group conversations. Tomorrow they were going to look at some songs for the new album. There were moments when she felt overwhelmed and in over her head. A lot of moments, if she was being honest. When she felt that way, she reminded herself why she was doing it in the first place.

Karma.

“I’m not getting totally wasted drunk,” she said softly. “It’s under control.”

Trevor frowned. “Today, maybe.”

“And tomorrow.” Her smile went unreturned.

He sighed as he leaned back. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Lose me? What?” She went over to him, straddled his lap so she faced him. The feeling of his body, warm, soft in some places, always felt comfortable. “You’re not going to lose me.”

His arms came around her. “I want to believe that.”

She rested her forehead on his, keeping her eyes open as he closed his. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because, Sadie.” He pulled away from her. “He’s there. You’re going to see him every day.” Ah, of course. This was about Ryan, not about her drinking. “You’re going to have to sing with him. Like, in harmony. And eventually you’re going to forget how bad it was—"

“What?” She jumped from his lap, staring at him through narrowed eyes. “Are you kidding me? I mean, I might not think about what he did every waking moment, but to think I would ever forget is ridiculous. How could you even think that, let alone say it?”

Trevor closed his eyes. “I don’t know.”

“What’s really bothering you?”

He looked up at her, the conflict evident in his eyes. “I really wanted out. And you knew that.”

She sat down across the table from him, pushed her empty glass to the side. “I didn’t think you were serious.”

He nodded. “Fame and money mean nothing to me. It’s just not who I am. I’d rather be back home, going to my dead-end job day in and day out.” He shrugged. “And I thought I was getting ready to have that with you.”

She looked at her hands, rubbed a snagged cuticle on her thumb. “I ruined your plans.”

Trevor sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying.” They sat in silence for a moment. “Ok, think about it like this.” She looked up at him. “If you were still with him, I wouldn’t even be thinking about quitting.” He reached across the table for her hands; she gave them to him. “I just want to be with you. And not have him around.”

It was hard not to roll her eyes. “He is not a threat.”

“I want to believe you. But it’s not just about you and how you feel. I have watched him control and manipulate you for years. I know how he works.”

She couldn’t listen anymore. Shaking her head, she got up and walked out of the hotel suite. There was nothing she could do to fix Trevor’s insecurity other than let time show him she wasn’t going anywhere. While she waited for the elevator, it occurred to her Ryan would’ve never let her leave like that, and if she had, there would have been consequences. Just one more reason Trevor was by far the better choice.

Maybe if she made a list of all the reasons she wanted to be with Trevor, and gave it to him, it would help. He could frame it and hang it somewhere he would see every day.

When she got off the elevator, she went to the concierge and asked for a notepad and a pen. Then she sat on the same chair as she had the other day when she and Ryan talked and started writing.

1. You would never lay a hand on me

2. You would never intentionally hurt me

3. You love me for me

4. You don’t want to change me

5. You accept me for the fucked-up mess I am

6.

She paused, looking up just as Ryan breezed into the lobby from the outside. Everything around him faded into the background as she watched him, his head held high as he looked around the lobby, a bag of carry-out Chinese in his hand. Sadie froze, willing him to not look her way.

No such luck.