Pieces- Fourth Bonus Chapter

This scene takes place when Mile 258 goes to Los Angeles the first time to record a demo in hopes of getting signed. Ryan made Sadie go to LA with them and she has nothing to do but sit in the hotel all day alone. 

Ryan said they would have fun in Los Angeles.

He lied.

They had been there for five days and Sadie felt like she was going insane. The guys got up early every day and left to go to the studio, leaving Sadie alone in the hotel until they came back late. Some nights they would order room service for dinner, others she actually left the hotel with them to have dinner.

Being alone seemed like a good thing at first, but she was in LA, thousands of miles away from home.

They arrived on Tuesday. On Wednesday, she ordered room service, complete with liquor, and watched TV.

On Thursday, she called Jenny four times, listening as her friend told her how she still didn’t know if she wanted to be with Alex when he came back. She still cared too much for Corey, despite the mean things he’d said to her. She talked about filling her heart with God’s love in hopes of reaching a conclusion.

“Maybe I could do that,” Sadie told her. “To figure out how to leave Ryan.”

Jenny’s voice was soft. “I’m sure it would help.”

But Sadie doubted it. She’d relied on God to guide her before when she was choosing between Ryan and Aaron. Whether God led her to choose Ryan, or if she’d been dumb enough to misread the clues, it was all said and done, and she didn’t like the outcome.

How could God forsake her like this, leaving her to this fate?

She doubted filling herself with His love now would do any good.

On Friday, she called Shawna, her college roommate. They didn’t talk much anymore, as Shawna was still bitter about Sadie choosing Ryan over Aaron. Sadie found herself telling Shawna about Trevor, just to have Shawna say, “You’re just gonna do to him what you did to Aaron.”

“I am not,” Sadie argued futilely, because she knew Shawna was right.

On Saturday, Sadie showered and dressed after the guys left. Ryan had never told her not to leave, but she knew he didn’t want her to. It wouldn’t matter what Ryan wanted if she did what she wanted this time. Ryan wouldn’t be a worry for her any longer.

The sun shone down on the busy street, everything surrounding her foreign. She stood in front of the hotel for a long while, staring at the tall buildings and traffic streaming by. It seemed every other car was either a taxi or a convertible. The people that bustled past her on the sidewalk carrying shopping bags while they chattered away on their cell phones made Sadie feel small.

“Taxi, miss?” the doorman asked her.

Sadie stared at him without answering. Where would she go? She didn’t know anything about her current location except she was in LA. What would she tell a cabbie? Take her where? Home? The airport? Then what?

Her cell phone was wedged in her blue jeans pocket, and that was the only thing she had. Ryan had taken her bank card and checkbook the day they arrived. Her parents would surely send her money if she called them. But what would she tell them? That Ryan was finally doing something with his life and she couldn’t stand by him?

And why was she even thinking about leaving, anyway? Nothing bad had happened. At least not lately. Mile 258 was quite possibly getting their big break. This would mean success for Ryan, which would lead to his happiness, which could lead to an improvement in their relationship.

“Ma’am, shall I get you a cab?”

Sadie shook her head. “No, thank you.”

The California sun was warm on her cheeks. What would life be like if Mile 258 did make it? Would they move here to LA? What would she do with her time? How could she ever fit into a world like this?

She’d always known she was pretty, so many people had told her as much. Though she didn’t necessarily believe that, she knew others did. It was why she was able to do so many things; ranging from getting the guy she set her sights on, to keeping her job.

That should be proof enough that looks got you nowhere. Ryan wasn’t who she thought he was, and where was that job now?

Here, in LA, she looked average, maybe even below average.

She missed Trevor, and even more so, Aaron. But Trevor, she hadn’t had any time alone with him since they arrived, and she desperately needed to feel special. Ryan didn’t do that for her, not like Trevor did. Trevor didn’t use words to tell her how he felt about her. It was in the way he touched her, the way he looked at her, the feelings that emanated from his eyes.

Just like Aaron had. His dark eyes were windows to his soul, and she’d never see them again.

Sadie needed that feeling; she missed that feeling. She wanted to go home, and back to where things were normal. Where Ryan went to work and she went to Trevor’s.

Tears were nipping in her eyes as she turned and walked back into the hotel. She returned to the room and cried into her pillow, wallowing in self-pity.

When the guys returned to the room Saturday night, Ryan told her to get dressed. The four of them were going to dinner, and then a bar afterwards. Recalling what the people of LA dressed like in the late morning, Sadie doubted she had anything suitable to wear.

Still, she put on a denim mini-skirt and a sequined tank top. Ryan smiled appreciatively and whispered to her, “You make me not even want to leave.”

She giggled, thankful for the boost in self-confidence, and glanced at Trevor. He frowned and looked away.

Dinner conversation revolved around Mile 258’s music and the songs they liked and didn’t like and what parts needed work and what parts didn’t.

Sadie was like a fixture on the wall, present, but unneeded and forgotten.

Thursday, she had an idea. She didn’t need to sit in this hotel like a prisoner. She was a pretty girl, and though she was eating more, she was still very thin. Modeling was a definite possibility for her.

She pulled out the Yellow Pages and looked up listings for modeling agencies. There were pages of them. She didn’t even know where to start. What if she called a shady one? One that wanted her to take naked pictures or something?

She’d have to take her chances. It would be easy to draw the line. Somewhere inside her, she still had morals, didn’t she?

“Hi,” she said when someone answered at the first agency she called. “I wanted to talk to someone about being a model.”

“What do you mean?” the person on the other end asked.

“Well,” she started, “I’m thin and pretty and I think I would make a good model.”

“Are you serious? Every other girl in LA fits that description. Let me guess, you have blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs and big breasts, too.”

Sadie’s heart skipped a beat. “Yes,” she said in a small voice.

“Do you have a portfolio?”

“A what?”

“Have you had pictures done?”

“No.”

“Well,” the voice on the other end said, “I don’t know what to tell you. You need a portfolio before anyone here will even talk to you…and even then, if you don’t have experience….”

“Ok, thanks.” Sadie hung up the phone and dialed the next number in the book. A man there told her almost the same thing as the person at the first place.

So did the third, fourth, fifth and sixth places.

How would she get pictures done? Ryan didn’t want her to be a model. He’d made that perfectly clear.

She fell back on the bed, defeated once again. What was she thinking anyway? There was no way she could be a model.